


A Gift

by ChibisUnleashed



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Fluff, M/M, flowershop au, from tumblr, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-10-26 00:47:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17735819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChibisUnleashed/pseuds/ChibisUnleashed
Summary: Wade is a crazy romantic. Emphasis on the crazy. But also on the romantic.





	A Gift

**Author's Note:**

> From that Flowershop AU prompt floating around on tumblr. This is my third go at it, hah.

Dating Deadpool was a special level of spontaneous, and not just because on any given date night one or the both of them might have to drop everything and foil some bad guy’s evil plot. 

Deadpool was a crazy kind of romantic. Flower petals, candlelight, chocolate hearts, and only sometimes did he end up lighting the drapery on fire. But even then, he rolled with it, like he meant to do that. And Peter usually couldn’t tell if he actually had.

It was exciting, if nothing else. And Wade definitely never accused Peter of not having the time for him, and he paid for the drapes, so actually it was great. Everything was great.

Even moments like this, when Wade made him close his eyes and led him into the dining room, chattering ceaselessly about nothing and everything and vibrating like a rabbit in heat. If not for his quiet spidey-sense, Peter might have been worried. 

“So I know flowers are more May’s thing but I stopped by a shop earlier and I got chatting with the kid behind the counter, he’s a great kid, and halfway in, I realized I just had to surprise you. So without further ado, I give you, a gift!”

Peter opened his eyes to one of the most confusing and hilarious sights he’d ever witnessed, and he fought villains named, “Big Wheel.” There, in the middle of the dining table, was a penis. A great, long, purple penis with the biggest blue balls Peter had ever seen. 

A purple and blue dick. In flowers. 

Peter looked at Wade. Wade looked back with clear anticipation. Peter was  _ sure  _ he was mistaking this message, but all he could think, all he had to ask, was:

“Is this your way of saying I have a tight ass?”


End file.
